Spirography

A story of kinship, queerness, and the secrets of the body in the wake of illness and loss.

Spirography is a coming-of-age memoir about the bond between a father and daughter, their intertwined illnesses, and the enduring love that persists even after death. This memoir follows author Cara Stoddard's intersecting experiences of cancer, grief, and sexuality, rooted in the suburban Midwest of the late twentieth century--where idyllic lake life, water sports, NASCAR, Christian rock, and a willful ignorance around queerness define the landscape. Set in the author's childhood home on a lake in Michigan, this lyrical archive of a family navigating crisis is an elegy not only for the memory of her father but also the end of her childhood spent outdoors.

Stoddard takes the reader intimately through the checkpoints of her coming-of-age story--including working at a summer camp, moving to Colorado, falling in love, coming out--each leg of the journey backdropped by her father's declining health and the author's own incremental acceptance of this impending loss. Writing from ten years after her father's death, she traces her experiences of becoming a stepparent, carrying on her dad's legacy, and, in unimaginable ways, bringing him back to life.